My child BITES! What do I do???

Yes, this is a true statement in our family! My daughter, who is 19 months, loves to BITE!  When she is upset or frustrated, watch out!  Our son, who is now 3 and 1/2 never had this "agenda" to bite.  This is ALL new for us as parents to deal with, and may I say, it is a hard thing to break a young child of doing.

You are not alone parents!  I will give you a few different simple techniques and tips to help your child learn that biting is not a good choice, and how to redirect them so that biting is no longer an option!

Causes of Biting:

Biting is usually a discovery learning technique that begins around 1 year of age.  It is during the time of teething and "everything in their mouth" stage which are both normal behaviors.  For children with minimal verbal skills, certain triggers (such as a child being frustrated because another child took their toy away) make biting a primitive form of communication for young children.  After 2-3 years of age, it then becomes a deliberate learned behavior.  It is best to stop and prevent it from happening early and at the beginning stages.

A Few Tips:

Step 1:  Establish a RULE.  Whenever you see your child biting, always redirect using words to explain. Parent would say:  "We do not bite.  That hurts people. We only bite food."

Step 2:  Remove the child who is the biter away from the situation.  Redirect as necessary.

Step 3:  Always be consistent in your approach to redirecting your child when biting occurs.  State to child "it is not a good choice, we do not bite, it hurts people," and begin engaging them in something else to redirect their attention from what, or who, they were wanting to bite.

Step 4:  If they have a urge to always want to bite, give them a teething toy that is dedicated for them to use to bite on when they are feeling the need to bite.

Step 5:  Show them that biting hurts.  Kids learn through experience and their senses.  Therefore, biting is a way of learning for them.  Feeling what biting is will help a young child learn that "the experience" of biting may not be desirable anymore. Model how biting hurts on yourself.

Step 6:  Build their vocabulary.  While saying "we do not bite" as you are correcting your child from biting someone or something that should not be, touch their mouth with your finger so they can learn through senses that the word "bite" means "using their mouths."  You can also show your child (modeling) what "biting" is by making your mouth do the motion while you are saying "no bite."

Step 7:  Give consequences.  As your child gets a little older (2 and up), and they are still wanting to bite, set an expectation that if they are to bite someone or something they are not supposed to, they will be given a consequence such as time-out (1 minute per age of child) or they will have to leave the play-date because they were biting their friends.

Step 8:  Do not worry!  Most children do grow out of the habit of biting by 3 years of age, if not earlier.  As mentioned before, biting is a way for a young child to learn and experience.  They do not have the comprehension at such a young age to understand that their actions (biting) causes hurtful reactions (mark, bruise, or breaking of the skin on someone).

Step 9:  Prevention:  The best time to stop a biting behavior from becoming a habit is when it first starts.  Be sure not to laugh when he/she bites and that no one treats it like a game.  Never give-in to your child's demands because of biting.

JUST REMEMBER THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP TO REDIRECTING A BITER:  Always teach them WHY we do not bite (it is not a good choice) and HOW it feels (it hurts).  For a young child consistently hearing and learning these two things, will help their process of growth to understand the negative consequences behind biting.